I have a tough time putting aside my editor’s brain. Editors and good writers know what I’m talking about. It’s the hazard of the job. Sometimes, I marvel at an article’s great intro, packed with an interesting narrative and powerful verbs that speak directly to me or my interest. But more often, I get sad, struggling to read ledes that get bogged down with so many words, forget they need to make a point, or fail to remember their goal is to entice people to consume the rest of the content. That’s not just sad; it’s a waste of content (and the resources that went into producing it.) Next to the headline, the lede is everything. It determines whether someone will read the article. It has many tasks to complete — hook the reader, indicate the subject matter, set the tone, etc. For the good of better ledes that can live up to those weighty responsibilities, let’s examine five intros. I picked ones that possess positive attributes but left room for a constructive critique. Note: I use the journalistic form “lede,” which is “the introductory section of a news story to entice the reader to read the full story.” Technically, “lead” is also correct.
1. Set the scene
How the lede reads
What works
It paints a picture for the reader (longer nights, cloud-covered skies, and colder weather). You can feel and likely relate to the scene.
What doesn’t work
The first paragraph could work for any article about winter blues or seasonal affective disorder. “It’s no wonder this time of year has a major impact …” is just wrong. The article went live on Sept. 19, 2023 — fall hadn’t even officially arrived. It’s a lot of words (122 in the first two paragraphs) that make the same point over and over. Readers probably understood it in the second (wordy) sentence: “The absence of sun and light causes individuals to feel sadder and less motivated than their usual selves.” The tie to the brand’s products (lighting solutions) seems generic to the winter blues point.
What would be a better lede
The revised lede is 57 words. The second paragraph ties the scene to the brand’s message. It also acknowledges the article goes live in September and not in the winter.
Source link
